political correctness and bipolar

There are many words nowadays that are not used due to that thing we call political correctness. Words that were once common slang terms that were deemed derogatory toward the group of people they were aimed at. I’m not going to mention those words now, I’m going to assume that you already know what I’m getting at. Get the gist?

Those words have been becoming more obscure in our vocabularies generation by generation. These things don’t happen overnight. We roll our eyes when we hear someone from an older generation day something racist, for example, because of their ‘vintage’. We excuse it because ‘they don’t know any better’ and because ‘things were different in their day’. That’s ok, because in all honesty, it shows me that things are changing. People are learning. People are evolving into a race of humans. Slowly. Global citizens. There is far to go yet, far far to go.

So that being the most extreme on the scale of things, I would like to bring about a couple of terms that people with bipolar might roll their eyes about.

One of the Kardashian girls was just torn apart recently for claiming that she was ‘so bipolar’ because she changed her hair colour. So fucking what? People change their hair colour ALL THE TIME. I should know, I’m a hairdresser. Regular, ‘sane’, neuro typical people change their hair – some more often than others. Doesn’t mean they are bipolar. Honestly. If changing your hair colour all the time was a criteria for diagnosing bipolar there would be many more of us out there let me tell you.

So the terms that we roll our eyes at? Let’s start with ‘manic’. Mania ISN’T what you think it is. Imagine having limitless energy, but high anxiety. Imagine having delusional thoughts. Imagine having no regard for money. Imagine feeling invincible, like you are able to change the world. Imagine feeling bold, so impulsive yet insecure. Imagine, if you can, having such high levels if anxiety that you may actually see things that aren’t there.

Mania is a high. Better than any drug. Most of us love it – we create amazing things, can write amazing stories, have no limits. Then there is the insomnia, fast thinking, lack of vocal filter and whatever else other individuals experience.

Manic is not a term that can describe someone who is behaving the way you don’t want them to. It isn’t a term that should be thrown around. Especially if it is in direct opposition to what actual mania really is.

How about ‘psycho’? This one is pretty much universally acceptable everywhere. Being in the state of psychosis is not fun people. This is usually one step up from mania – where one might have delusional thoughts that you believe are true. When the things you are seeing (that aren’t really there) are real. For me, I see demons and tree branches smacking me in the face. I mentioned Vikings and carpet wavering. There are other things, usually sinister and terrifying. When I am not medicated correctly, these things are real to me.. ‘Going psycho’ isn’t getting mad at someone and yelling at them. No. Just NO.

Psychosis is scary. I damage myself and others when I am in this state. It has happened a couple of times now, and I tend to come off much worse afterward than you might think.

So, please, the next time you think about using those words, think about what they mean to the people that experience those states. Please, next time you hear someone use those words frivolously, consider this post and let it remind you that 99% of the English speaking world are using the incorrect words to describe what they are trying to convey. Expand your mind and vocabulary. So those of us with bipolar can stop rolling our eyes at you.

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the cursor

To put this into words

that you can understand

to put this into words

that will help you comprehend

the words aren’t just a mix of letters

these words aren’t intended to fix

these words are the only things

that I can use to release

 

I’m in lockdown, my personal prison

a place for only me yet I’m inhibited

The words I am so desperate to convey

just stood up and walked away

I want to scream ‘LEAVE ME ALONE’

I want to scream ‘MY MIND ISN’T YOUR HOME’

I want to scream ‘YOU DON’T BELONG HERE’

Yet all I can do is try, somehow, to stay

 

quiet…….

 

So the words I am trying to share

The feelings that stepped away

The cursor blinks expectantly, waiting for the next letter

As I say goodbye to you forever