the puzzle

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All of the puzzle pieces were put in place. Most of the patients in hospital sat at that very puzzle, slowly but surely putting it together. It was finished today, the day I got to go home. I find that alone was such a bizarre coincidence.

I’ve been back home for a couple of hours now and I’m tired. So so tired. I baked muffins for my three gorgeous kids and just about cried when I went with my partner to pick them all up from school and Kindy. It feels strange to be on the ‘outside’ after nearly a month of being in hospital.

I feel like I stayed in hospital *just* long enough to get my medications stabilised and to learn what I could from the daily group therapy. Being admitted into a psych ward isn’t what most people think – it is hard work. Our therapy sessions basically went from 8:30 through til 3, with lunch and morning tea thrown in there. Add being medicated (often on new meds, weaning off old ones etc), to that also you have got to appreciate that trying to use a brain that wants to basically shut down at least for 1/2hr when the meds kick in, it’s challenging.

I can’t and will not complain though. I learned a lot. When I say that I learned a lot, I mean ALOT.

I made some amazing friends. I feel like we have such a deep connection. I know for sure that these connections and friendships will continue to grow on the ‘outside’.

I also learned a lot about myself. I learned that I can cut myself some slack sometimes but having bipolar isn’t a hinderance. It also is not an excuse. It won’t stop me from fulfilling my every dream and desire. So long as I keep it real, so long as I keep checking my self, I can conquer anything. Just like the puzzle, piece by piece, step by step, I can achieve anything. Anything at all.

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